Friday Thoughts: Anna
As a young woman I had a series of miscarriages. When I found out I was pregnant for the fourth time I told myself I would keep myself emotionally at arms-length from this pregnancy. “Wait until you know this pregnancy will stick before you get involved,” I said to myself.
And then this voice came in: “If you lose this pregnancy, you will be heartbroken whether you engage with this little life or not. You know this, don’t you?”
Of course, I did. So, I engaged. Sending love to that little egg might help. It might not. I had no illusions that my “positive” love thoughts would allow this egg to grow because I had done that before, with all my heart, and the result was always heartbreak. Nevertheless, what did I have to lose by loving this little speck? My strong, generous Anna held on and was born, nine months later, without a hitch. Today she is a gorgeous, generous, talented young woman who loves and is dearly loved by so many people. I am blessed to call her my daughter.
As you might imagine, this experience was a pivotal one in my life. What’s more, it keeps offering me strength and sustenance. Time and again I revisit my decision to open my broken heart and love with it when I would rather shelter myself from some very real possibility of pain.
How about you? I imagine you have been confronted with this kind of decision. And I imagine you’ve risen to the occasion.
No matter the overall tenor of our individual lives right now, I suspect that the community of humanity is in a time of broken heartedness. So many challenges in front of us—will we fall to war, climate disaster, violence, pestilence, poverty? In our personal lives, are we up to the challenges that relationships, careers, and illness are bringing to us?
I am not an expert in Love. But I do know this. Love without an agenda is a powerful force. In the presence of the unknown, at the edge of the cliff, what do we have to lose by looking toward the future and saying, with all the vigor we can muster, “I love you life.”
Love without an agenda is a powerful force. Sometimes the result is Anna. Sometimes it is more heartbreak. But there is only gain in loving life. Ultimately, it might turn out to be humanity's unassailable power, especially when brandished in solidarity with others.
Is there something specific you need to know about Love without an agenda?
Ask the cards: